The way I reflect on my experience, thoughts and myself

While I appreciated that the Coaching Corner which was designed to help to reflect on my experiences and thoughts, and it really did, I also faced the problem about the way I reflect on things. My shoulder felt pain when I ponder, reflect or think in depth. Why? Was that judgment or blame on myself rather than reflection on my experiences and thoughts? (Am I different from my experiences and thoughts?). I feel that I am circling the same place even though I try to move forward. One reason is that it is difficult for me to take new information from outside myself. So new perspectives come to me very slowly. I reflect on myself with the same criteria before I really understand the new perspectives. So the reflection does not really work. These are repeated. Whenever I realized this repetition, I got tired. Probably I do not have to pose these questions if I really understand the lectures and articles offered. But that is hard for me.